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What's green and sings?
Elvis Parsley!
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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
A stick.
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What's the difference between snot and brussel sprouts?
Kids will eat snot.
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Two cannibals were eating a clown when one looked up at the other and said, "Does this taste funny to you?"
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How do you get a tissue to dance?
Put a little boogie in it.
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Why can't a chicken coop have more than 2 doors?
Because if it had 4 doors it would be a chicken sedan
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Where do cantalopes go in the summer?
John Cougar's Mellon Camp
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Why is it important to be quiet in church?
Because people are sleeping.
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The pharmacist walks into the store to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall.
He asks the clerk "What's with that guy over there by the wall?"
The clerk responds: "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative."
The pharmacist yells: "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with a laxative!"
"Of course you can! Look at him, he's afraid to cough."
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Those that know, don't tell. And those that tell, don't know.
So say what you mean, and mean what you say.
And if its ain't broke, don't fix it.
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